Приложения разработчика APPsolutely Fabulous в Android Market

Funny Bad Jokes (v. 3.3.5)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2013-01-05
(обновлено 2015-03-31)

Jokes that are funny cause there not, is it possible you be the judge.  These jokes, may not make you laugh, but they will certainly make you grown.  Share them with your friends and grown together.  Do you know worse jokes? then send them to me via that App and I'll include them (giving you the credit of cause).

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Post to Facebook
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button).
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Other layout changes
*Rate the app

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app.  None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app.  We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

1400+ Funny Statuses (v. 3.2.8)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2012-12-31
(обновлено 2012-12-31)

Funny status updates as posted on various social networking sites.  You can use these updates as your own and have your friends LMFAO.  You can also add to the App, seen something you thought was funny or had a rare moment when it was you that was funny, then send them to me via that App and I'll include them (giving you the credit of cause).

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Post to Facebook
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button).
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Other layout changes
*Rate the app
 
Examples of what's inside

"Randomly remembering gud times and smiling like an idiot"

"Your hair is a mess" " So is your face."

"I like Turtles"

"I swear to make no promises I cannot keep."

"Sluts are like summer... no class!"

"Lighters that work in the wind"

"I hate my little brother!!"

"Weekend forecast..........mostly drunk with a chance of horny"

Brain Teasers (v. 3.0.3)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2012-09-20
(обновлено 2012-09-20)

Over 350 Brain Teasers to get you thinking.

Think they’re too easy? Then submit your own for inclusion in the application and get the credit for doing so.

*New teasers added weekly
*Save favorite teasers
*Submit your own teaser  for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random teaser button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Other layout changes
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (Answers are in the app):

If Susan is 10, Arabella is 20, and Jim and Neal are both 5, but Richard is 10, how much is Jennifer by the same system?

A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year but they were not twins. How could this be so?

How would you rearrange the letters in the words new door to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.

The man who invented it, doesn't want it. The man who bought it, doesn't need it. The man who needs it, doesn't know it. What is it?

When asked how old she was, Mary replied, "In two years I will be twice as old as I was five years ago." How old is she?

Random Jokes (v. 2.7)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2012-01-13
(обновлено 2012-01-13)

Random Jokes, A large collection of funny jokes on many different topics.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"BBC News: Two pedestrians die in collision.
F**k, how fast must they have been walking?"

"Do you ever wonder where people got their surnames from?
Perhaps Mr Baker was a baker, Mr Butcher was a butcher and Mr Butler was a butler etc.
How very apt then that my name is Mr Dickinson!"

"Ponderisms:
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
..."

"Some of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV and Radio.
1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is a really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford Crew."
5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
6. ..."

"I nearly s**t my pants on the tube this morning.
It was okay though, I managed to pull them down just in the nick of time."

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Keywords: joke, jokes, fun, funny, laugh, sex, sexy, dirty, crude, teen, adult, adults, hilarious, random,

Embarrassing Stories (v. 2.15)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-10-28
(обновлено 2011-10-28)

Real life embarrassing moments, real stories submitted by real people, detailing their dumbest, most embarrassing moments.  Read, laugh, then; if you are feeling brave enough submit you own story, for the world to enjoy (anonymously if you wish).

***Warning, these stories contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset***

*New stories added weekly
*Submit your own story for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Random story button
*Copy to Clipboard(via menu button), for posting to social networking sites.
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Keywords: embarrassing, dumb, stories, joke, jokes, fun, funny, laugh, sex, sexy, dirty, crude, kids, teen, adult, adults, hilarious,comic, yarn, humorous, amusing, witty

900+ Funny Sayings (v. 3.3.1)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-10-15
(обновлено 2013-09-02)

Funny Sayings: Over 900 funny twists on common sayings.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

“Bigger is better. Unless it’s a tumour.”

“My friend told me, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." So I lobbed a dictionary at his head - that showed him.”

“Oh yes, I've tried my hand at sex.”

“On the other hand, you have different fingers.”

“Had sex with a transvestite the other day. She took it like a man.”

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Drink and Drugs Jokes (v. 3.3.5)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-09-03
(обновлено 2013-06-17)

Over 1000 jokes and witty remarks about alcohol and drugs. Send to your friends via email and SMS.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"I hate people who take drugs...  
Such as Policemen, Customs Officers, etc..."

"THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Donner kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. ..."

"Beer vs. Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. ..."

"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night.
First question was, "What the f**k are YOU looking at?""

"An 'alcoholic' on the Jeremy Kyle Show just admitted to drinking 'eight or nine cans a day.'

F*****g p***y, I can drink that in four hours."

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app.  None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app.  We accept no blame for any offence caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

Dumbest things ever said (v. 3.3.3)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-08-10
(обновлено 2013-05-06)

Famous people say the stupidest things, over 650 quotes from celebrities who probably thought they were being quite intelligent and the time… but just ended up giving us all a good laugh.

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up."
Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
David Coleman, Sportscaster

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"The FA are still optimistic about England's bid to stage the World Cup in twenty thousand and six."
Peter Snow, BBC2 anchorman

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

*****Disclaimer*****
Appsolutely Fabulous, takes no responsibility, for the content of this app.  None of the jokes were written by anyone at Appsolutely Fabulous, they were all either sourced form the internet or sent in by the users of this app.  We accept no blame for any offense caused, care has been taken to remove offensive jokes, however it you are offended by any of the jokes please report them to us via the app and we will consider the joke for removal.

Stupidity (950+ Jokes) (v. 3.2.9)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-08-04
(обновлено 2013-04-26)

Stupid people beware, these jokes are here to expose you!  Over 950 jokes, were stupid people are definitely the butt of the joke.  Perhaps you will recognize some of your friends and family (or even yourself!!!) in some of these jokes.

Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

"NEWSFLASH: BT to cut 15,000 posts over the next year
......How will all the wires stay up? "

"Paddy thought he'd struck gold with his new metal detector.
It wasn't until he'd dug a 60ft-deep hole that he realised that he was wearing steel-toe boots. "

"I ordered a pizza the other day. They told me that if they didn't deliver it within half an hour, it's free!
So I hung up without giving them my address."

"A man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.
FASTER...
FASTER..
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP......
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP....
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, as the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
The coffin stops"

"Got in a taxi the other night and said, "King George's Close."
The driver replied, "don't worry, I'll lose the f****r!" "

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.

Technology Jokes (v. 3.3.2)

APPsolutely Fabulous опубликовал приложение 2011-08-02
(обновлено 2015-07-20)

These jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks (yes you!) but are generally just jokes about geek topics e.g. computers, the Internet, phones (not android obviously!).  Enjoy

*Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too.

*Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics of an adult nature and as such are intended only for grown ups.  Please do not download if you easily offend you will only get upset*

*New jokes added weekly
*Submit your own joke for inclusion in the app.
*Move to SD card (android 2.2+ only.)
*This app will remember were you are up to even if you turn off your phone or update the app
*Share with SMS/Email
*Random joke button
*Hold the left arrow to go back to the start
*Hold the right arrow to go to the end
*Link to developer’s other apps in the market
*Change the size of the text
*Change the color of the text
*Change the style of the text
*Change the background
*Rate the app

Examples of what's inside (jokes are not censored in the app):

""Apple iphone 4 users have trouble making calls"

Thats because they have no friends to ring"

"What the f**k does JFGI stand for????

Never mind, I've googled it."

"If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0"

"Just bought a voice activated keyboard,
Some of this shit writes itself. "

"I started my new hoverboard business just this week. Opened the factory and got production going.
Just need the product to get off the ground now"

N.B. Permissions are required by the Ad networks, which keep the app free.